On a visit to my parents’ place recently. I sat in the kitchen talking to my mother as she cooked dinner watching my dad work in his garden through the window overlooking the backyard. We talked idly as is our wont and somehow began reminiscing about my childhood and the mischief I occasionally (
very occasionally) got into. I suppose it began because we were talking about music and the people we used to have over at the house when I was a toddler. In any case my mom started in on a story I’ve heard dozens of times but which never gets boring: the time I ate the light bulb.
It was about 18 ½ years ago when I was two years old. My parents decided to throw a Christmas party probably one of about 4 Christmas parties they’ve thrown in their entire life together. The attendees were mostly members of my dad’s bluegrass band and those members’ spouses because my mom doesn’t tend to accumulate large amounts of friends of her own. Her best friend next to my dad is her sister and she doesn’t seem to need anybody beyond them and me and my brother. In any case it came to be that the adults of the group were off in one room chatting with each other in christmasy ways and my five-year-old brother and I were off in another room.
Now the room my brother and I happened to be in was also the room that our Christmas tree happened to be in decorated with the usual heirloom ornaments and strings of colorful lights. I’ve always loved our Christmas tree taking particular joy each year in choosing the best positions for my favorite ornaments. I suppose the fascination must have started very young because not too long after my brother and I were left alone my mother recalls my brother coming up to her and the other adults and saying. “Mommy. Kate ate a light bulb.”
I can only imagine the panic that this statement inspired. Apparently in the few minutes we were left alone. I had taken one of the colorful bulbs adorning our tree and attempted to eat it breaking it in the process. My mom got the broken glass away from me and though one of our guests was an emergency room doctor more than capable of ascertaining my state of health (which he concluded was fine) she said that the rest of the night her imagination occupied itself with thoughts of broken glass in my little tummy.
This time however the story differed from every other time my mother had told it to me. She went on about her concern over my toddler intestines and then slipped into the conversation that she imagined shards slicing my stomach that night when I started screaming during what she called “one of [my] bee terrors.”
I’d been enjoying the story as usual up to this point but immediately came out of the placid listening state I had entered. “One of my bee terrors?” I asked. “You mean I had more?”
As it turns out. I did. She explained that as a toddler. I used to wake up in the night and start screaming and flailing my arms yelling “da BEES da BEES!” It shocked me that she’d never mentioned this to me before…I mean. I’d grown up conscious of the fact that I’d sat on a bees’ nest when I was two years old and had been terrified to the phobic point of the insects ever since but I had always felt that it was something less than instinctual something I ought to be able to control something unnatural. This story about my night terrors however made me feel for the first time in years that maybe my fear of bees which I still to this day cannot control very well really
is a phobia. Irrational. Something embedded in my subconscious by a childhood experience. I felt justified finally for a fear I’d carried as long as I can remember for which I was ridiculed yelled at lectured and punished not only by my family members but by almost every friend I’d ever had.
It took 18 years to finally know that I am not completely out of my mind at least as far as my phobia—I think I can legitimately call it that now—is concerned.
Hope your mom is not holding back on any other stories. Yikes!I hate bees. I got stung right in the middle of the forehead when I was about 8 years old. And about 25 or so years old I got stung in my hand as I was trying to shoo the bee away from me. Got my hand right in mid-air.
i can definitely relate when i was 14 months old i was in the child seat of a grocery cart my brother was trying to climb into the basket and the cart tipped over. I wasn't breathing for several minutes and my mother tells me that was when my sleep terror syndrome started. I know what mean in regards to questioning whether or not your fears are rational. Sometimes it really doesn't matter if they are irrational in fact those can many times be the easiest ones to deal with. Often there are "little" things friends and family can do that to them is insignificant or takes no effort.. but calms your nerves and addresses your fears. Even if they are phobias.
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Related article:
http://sketchingtheflow.blogspot.com/2007/09/da-bees.html
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